No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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