my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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