Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
