Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
