I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
