i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
