Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
