I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
