If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize