i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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