dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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