he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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