just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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