i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
