I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize