and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
