Your dad touched me again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
