Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
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Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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