What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
