If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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