I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
