He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
