I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
