Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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