So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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