I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
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He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think I just sharted jello shots
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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