Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
