Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Mom said you looked used
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
