Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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