she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
