I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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