wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
