To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
