I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
