idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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