what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
