I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
