my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
