There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
