her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
