Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
