four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
