when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
