So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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