why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
