I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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