You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
