I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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