i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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