I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
