He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Its about making memories worth repressing
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
