watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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